Over the past week or so, I’ve been doing lots of thinking; probably even more than usual for me (which is a lot).  Foremost amongst my thinking has been training (surprise surprise). That said, whilst it’s quite normal for me to spend a great deal of time thinking about training (some might be inclined to say ‘obsessive’…), this past week my thoughts have turned more to ‘why’. Why do I train? Simple question, complicated answer.

On one level, training has (and does) provide me with an outlet, or escape from the rest of my life. As a teenager going through the usual teenage dramas, going for a run gave me time to get away, do some thinking (always a thinker!) and clear my head. As a law student, going to the gym gave me time away from the cerebral world of case law, to focus solely on the physical expression of strength, power and speed. As an adult with a terminally ill mother, the gym allowed me to escape the crushing defeat of hospital visits, to find a world of possibility and vitality. As a stressed out City lawyer, the gym was my oasis of calm; full of simple, uncomplicated truths – do the work, get the results.

On another level, training has provided me with confidence. As someone driven by challenge and achievement, I very much enjoy working hard and putting in the time (and work) necessary to accomplish something I couldn’t do previously. Nobody can give you, or buy the accomplishment, you’ve got to earn it. Earn it and you become confident you can achieve other objectives.

Closely related to confidence is achievement. Being an all too typical ‘Type A’, I’m very motivated by the ‘need to achieve’ (which all too often drives me, and those around me, nuts!). Unlike so many other facets of life, achieving something in ‘training world’ is down to hard work, patience and perseverance. Getting the promotion at work may (in part) be down to politicking, being in the right place at the right time, knowing the right people, butt kissing or the like, but none of that is going to add 20kg to your squat! Either you do the work and get the lift, or you don’t. When things outside training world (ie in the ‘real world’) aren’t going to plan or as I’d like, I find it useful to focus on training related achievements that are (pretty much) wholly within my control.

On yet another level, training has provided me with a certain sort of validation. Big personal disclosure coming up…despite outward appearances, I frequently find myself doubting my abilities, falling all too easily into the ‘I’m not good enough, X is so much better’ etc. While this can be useful to the extent it prevents me from getting lazy and complacent, there’s the potential to devolve into ‘I’m so sh!t, why bother’. Through training (and the occasional throwdown/event) I’ve come to see that while I’m by no means the strongest, fittest or fastest, I’m not the weakest, unfit or slowest.

So why do I train? It’s provided we with a form of sanctuary, has helped develop my confidence and sense of achievement, whilst validating my efforts. Ultimately, I guess it all comes down to love; my love for something that has given, and continues to give me so very very much.